You get the idea.

I’m learning some new things at the office — which is quite nice. They aren’t in my bailiwick, per se…but it is just natural to me to help out when needed.

Doc has been in Atlanta these past few days…and I have been pretty schmoopy about his absence.

I never would have thought I would have fallen for someone so quickly - -but I have. He wins major points for cleaning my kitchen when I was sick…over my furious objections (that was actually our first real fight….over his desire to clean..and my desire for him NOT to clean).

And, Topher? Dear Baby Jesus….Doc had better come back soon. That dog is practically in mourning. I emailed Doc an article - “Getting Dogged: When your pet cheats on you” and accused him of ’stealing’ my dog. It’s so very true. When he is around, that dog doesn’t know that I exist.

Of course, I found one disturbing thing in his absence:

A pink monkey sock.

I had Doc’s laundry and hauled it all out to the laundry room tonight so that I could have it freshly laundered and folded upon his return.

Three washers…three dryers.

When I pulled the items out of the dryer, I noticed something rather ‘pink’ in one of the loads. It was stuck in the corner of his mattress pad. I reached my hand in and pulled it out…a pink sock. With little monkey faces along the ankle.

Let’s just say that Doc received a grilling…good natured grilling. He swears there have been no pink monkey sock-wearing individuals passing through….and I believe him. I had actually scoured his laundry before I put it through the wash cycle…to make sure there wasn’t any spare change, pens or memory sticks in there (yes…I have washed one of his memory sticks before, thank you very much).

I have no doubt someone left it in the dryer here at the complex and it simply decided to tango with his whites and continue the after party at my house.

But, that’s not going to stop me from giving him hell.

I told him that the last time that an item of clothing belonging to another woman got into a member of my family’s laundry…that family member got an amethyst ring as a gesture of ‘I did not do it’.

My dad was working with the family business in South Texas about 20 years ago…and they had rented apartments down there….my aunt (Daddy’s little sister) was tasked with doing the laundry for the group…and that included a number of people. She got Dad’s laundry all done and packed away…and when he came home…my mother found a tiny pair of purple string bikini underwear in Dad’s laundry.

It wasn’t Daddys’…of course. But, mom gave him hell anyway. It was obvious that it was either left in a dryer or belonged to another member of the group……

But mom raised a ruckus…and got a gift to placate her.

Me? I’m just aiming for a dinner at Fogo de Chao. (It’s too early for jewelry, yet.)

Sadly, he just refuses to cooperate. Plus, he had gotten back into the habit of running at you and launching himself into the air, secure in the knowledge that you would catch him in mid-doxie-flight.

While this didn’t cause the injury…it did contribute to it.

A bit over a week ago, I walked into the house after dinner with Rebecca and was greeted by the princes of the realm. I took them for a quick stroll, so that they might complete their evening ‘watering of the bushes’ and brought them back up. I removed the obstacle separating them from the kitchen and the rest of the condo (the evil baby gate), and both took off, little paws spinning on the linoleum.

Except, someone’s paws stopped spinning. With a horrible little yelp, Bru stopped dead in his tracks and fell over. He quickly scrambled back up…and fell over again. Immediately, I knew what was wrong. The same thing occurred in April - - and the wee fuzzbutt was diagnosed with IVDD (Intervertebral Disc Disease). My vet reassured me…we treated it with anti-inflammatory meds and strict crate rest..and Bru recovered. The vet had also given me encouragement – telling me that most dogs never suffer another episode.

Well, Bru did. BUT, we caught it early. And he went to his ‘favorite’ place on earth the next afternoon - - the vet’s office. My regular vet was out – but Dr. Tate took great care of Bru. This time, she decided to treat the injury with steroids and crate rest. AND, I have started both of them on a supplement, Dasuquin, which should offer their joints some measure of protection and help cartilage formation (which should help Bru’s back).

This is all well and good….but.

You KNEW there had to be a ‘BUT’…right? (Seriously, this IS my story and these are MY DOGS….you KNOW there is a ‘BIG BUTT’…and it isn’t Topher’s rear, either)

The steroid – prednisone? It turned my mellow, calm, Spicolli-like pup into a demon.

She warned me about increased thirst – I was ready for that. But he drinks enough water to float most small watercraft.
And he pants. At first it alarmed me – the shallow, fast panting. He looked like Sigourney Weaver in ‘Ghostbusters’ when she has been overtaken by the demon gatekeeper.
And…he paced..and paced…and paced.

When we go outside, I have to carry him. He can be placed on the ground long enough to do his business..then I must scoop him up (to keep him from walking). He’s not a fan of that, period. And, even worse..now he has a better view of everything going on..including the wildlife around him. He sees every bird and every squirrel and absolutely loses his mind. I thought I was going to get in some serious trouble the other morning when the very glimpse of a little brown squirrel sent him into near-spasms and resulted in a very very high-decibel screeching ….the likes of which I haven’t heard from any mouth (human or not) in years.

I can’t wait to go back to the vet and ask why - - (oh why?) didn’t they give a girl some warning?

And, I just pray this never happens to Topher. If this steroid could turn my ‘sweet’ baby into a demon….I am terrified about what it could do to my ‘already demonic’ pup.

However, that got Doc on the hunt for interesting fishbowls…..and thus our conversation begins…..

DOC: how about this one:
I mean, it’s just funny…. a drain stopper.

UNFORTUNATE SERENDIPITY: and this one

DOC: fish n flush is excellent.

UNFORTUNATESERENDIPITY: Doc…dear….ASSUMING a future for us that involves long-term and/or legal and/or religious committment….I would put a clause in the prenup that forbids you from installing a fish n flush.

DOC: you’re no fun.

UNFORTUNATESERENDIPITY: fine…put ‘must be fun’ in the prenup, then. You’re still not getting a fish n flush.

Thus, I’m moving. You won’t notice a thing…hopefully. But I SHOULD see some better service out of this deal.

Did you know that I haven’t been able to access my site since September 5th? TWENTY DAYS, people. Twenty days in which I have done many fun (and stupid) things. Twenty days of doxie drama, Topher tribulation as it may be.

And I couldn’t even describe it for the three of you that still check in.

Anyway. After a Wordpress reinstall…I am back….and ready to produce more drivel.

DOC is from the farth northern climes….and I…well…I am from the lovely state of Texas. You know, where the asphalt streets bubble in the loving glare of the August sun.

I don’t mind the heat - in fact, I embrace the heat. DOC…he curses it. Every last, little, miserable degree. He waxes poetic about the fireplace at his apartment and dreams of the day he will be able to use it (I haven’t the heart to shatter his illusions. Poor guy is in for a rude awakening - - a ‘bitterly cold’ day in Texas will be like springtime in Wisconson).

But, yesterday we had a major weather flip-flop. The remnants of Hurricane Gustave settled over Dallas I got an email from DOC stating “Am coming over to wash both cars and take dogs for long, long walk.”

WHAT?

The weather was overcast and windy…the type of evening that calls me to take to my bed with a good book. The type of evening that screams for laziness and comfort.

…and my boyfriend wanted to wash cars and go dog-walking. It seems that the sudden downturn in temperature energized his little northern self.

That is why, at 7:00pm last night, I found myself clad in black yoga pants, a black tank and a black long-sleeve tshirt. I was sporting my dainty pink-and-white Adidas and was trying to maneuver a rather rotund dachshund down University.

Then DOC wanted to turn and walk down Skillman…ALL THE WAY TO MOCKINGBIRD LANE. Oh! And, then let’s walk ALL THE WAY DOWN TO GREENVILLE! AND, after that…let’s walk ALL THE WAY BACK UP TO UNIVERSITY.

All in all, it was a 2.3 mile jaunt…give or take a few tenths of a mile and meandering courtesy of dachshunds. I wasn’t that put off by it…but I did get blisters on the back of my ankles….I need to buy some good, thick socks.

I was very surprised by Topher - - he handled the walk very well. Bru took to limping about halfway through and favoring his front paw. DOC checked it out, but couldn’t find a thorn or sticker. I am pretty sure he must have just bruised the pad of his foot on a sharp rock.

The funniest part of the whole endeavor was the reaction of people in cars. I haven’t given it much thought…but Bru IS quite….unique-looking. At the corner of Matilda and Mockingbird, an SUV pulled up to the light and the two young women made a huge deal out of my fuzzy, mop-top. DOC was walking Bru…and as the women sped away, I turned to him and said, “SEE? My dog could SO help you pick up women!” We both got a laugh out of it.

As we passed by an office building on Greenville, another man commented on both pups….and at the light right before University, a rather expressive man in a car rolled down his window and gleefully announced ‘You have a hairy weenie! That’s just cool!’ Once again, DOC and I were amused by the delight others seem to find in little Bru.

Both pups were completely tuckered after we got back to the house. I ‘phoned it in’ for dinner….cooking some chicken breasts and rice….and we cuddled up to watch a couple of episodes of “Little House on the Prairie” on DVD. (For the record…they’re DOC’s DVDs…..he’s the big LHotP fan.)

On our first date, in June…DOC took me to opening night of Hairspray at The Music Hall at Fair Park. I was explaining The State Fair…and cracking jokes about fried everything on a stick…and all the exhibits. We even talked about ‘possibly’ going to the fair if we were still talking to one another at that point.

We were back at Fair Park on the 4th of July, for Fair Park Fourth…and we got to go to a couple of exhibits and touched on The State Fair again…..

I knew it was coming up quickly…so I hopped on to the site, and saw that if I ordered tickets online before September 2nd…I could get early bird rates.

So, I added two season passes and some food/ride coupons…and checked out.

Today, I get an email from The State Fair of Texas advance sales office, with shipping information for my tickets.

I clicked on the FedEx tracking link…and saw that my tickets are being shipped from Fort Smith, Arkansas.

FORT SMITH, ARKANSAS.

You would think that tickets for The State Fair of TEXAS might…just MIGHT be printed in the STATE OF TEXAS, huh?

I bought some down pillows and some pillow cases, nice - right?

WRONG.

I noticed, after the first night, that they smelled strange. I chalked it up to sweat, or oil from hair or something. I removed the cases…sprayed the pillows down with Febreeze and let them air out.

New cases went on. Sure enough…after one night….stink.

Tried again…Febreeze….air out….a different set of pillow cases.

And, the stink returned. I knew it couldn’t be me. My other, fiber filled pillows didn’t reek. My pillow cases were clean. I finally realized the stink was coming from INSIDE the down-filled pillows. I googled ‘down pillow stink’…

There you go. If the pillows are of inferior quality, you get stink. It has something to do with the actual shaft of the feathers not being hollowed out correctly. Go figure.

I washed the pillows according to the instructions on the label…..TWICE. When I pulled them out of the washing machine, I was almost knocked over by the stench. I added three fabric softener sheets and put them in the dryer with some tennis balls.

I finally had to remove them from the dryer when the smell permeated the whole laundry room.

I called Target tonight and begged them to take the pillows as a return. They are going to do it.

Thank goodness.

I’m going for the expensive stuff this time.