Months of inactivity.

Granted, I have been busy. Completed quite a bit of work on my condo - - it finally felt like home. The color scheme was totally ‘me’.
Then, horrid, horrid swelling rash. Multiple Dr. visits…nothing seemed to be resolved.

Until I found some nasty little bug in my bedroom. A bedbug. And it wasn’t alone. It had brought its entire family and all of it’s Facebook and Twitter friends, too.

A BEDBUG.

And…in case you missed it…. A FREAKING BEDBUG.

First and foremost, I would like to thank the little #$%^#$%#@ neighbors downstairs for introducing them to the building. That’s what you get when the condo community relaxes its leasing standards. They lease to four college guys. Those ‘four’ college guys weren’t really ‘four’ college guys. There was a never-ending revolving door of college guys in and out of there.

No lie, I could count anywhere from half a dozen to a FULL dozen guys leave that place in the morning. And, being college guys, they moved in second- and third-hand crap furniture. Thus — they introduced bedbugs to the building. AND, then they had the nerve to go to the management office and complain that they had ‘bugs’ in their apartment. They didn’t know what they were - - but they tried to lay the blame on me…saying they were caused by my dogs.

Yeah. I have lived here since November of 2005 with nary a problem. Yet, within a couple of month of them moving into their apartment in August of 2008, they had bugs. BED-FREAKING-BUGS.
How do I know they tried to blame it on me? Because I was standing in the hallway outside the manager’s office when they made the complaint. They had been called in by management because they had not paid the full rent for the month. (Their explanation? One of the ‘four’ guys had graduated from college and gone back to India….so the other ‘three’ guys had each paid 1/4 of the rent…leaving them 1/4 short. They were trying to argue that they were only responsible for 1/4 of the rent, each. Yeah, nice try.)

I didn’t think anything of it - - as the manager chewed them out. When I walked in moments later, to pick up laundry tokens…she asked if I had seen any bedbugs.
“Nope” was my self-assured answer. “However,” I said, “I have had a few roaches…and so have the other neighbors…and if you go by the guys’ apartment…..they leave their kitchen blinds open…and you can see the piles and piles of trash - - not even in trashbags…all over the kitchen counters and floors.”

Needless to say, their lease was not renewed because they managed to foster a colony of roaches the likes of which I have NEVER seen. In a building this old, it is understandable if you see an occasional water roach outside…or the lone, tiny roach that decides to visit your countertop. You just scrub everything down with bleach, put out a roach trap and spray the corners and such with roach killer. Done deal. Unfortunately, neither I nor my other neighbors were having much luck with that. We are all very well acquainted and get along famously - - and we all found that we were having to deal with roach issues. Not one or two per week………but seven or eight per night. And, they weren’t confined to the kitchen…..we were even finding them in the living room. When the management got rid of the college guys…we demanded the building be bombed and a base treatment be done.

And that, my friends, leads to the bedbug nightmare. Once the guys left us at the first of February - - their little bedbug friends no longer had hosts…so they started looking for a suitable alternative. They found it in my place. And…..I seem to be extremely allergic to their vampiric little bites. The management seemed unconcerned until I caught one and presented it to them in a plastic bag.

Let me tell you this - - if you have NEVER had to deal with bedbugs….count yourself LUCKY. Thank God and the heavens above and pray you never have to deal with it during your lifetime. It was the most miserable nine months of my life. I am physically scarred (yes, I have actual scars from the bites)….spent untold sums of money on cleaning agents, sprays, laundering, replacing bedding (twice!).
The first treatment didn’t work - - because the pest control service did a cursory job and didn’t follow up. When that proved unsuccessful, I had to lobby and threaten to get it taken care of again.

And, when they treat - - you have a LIST of things you have to do…..you live and breathe pest control for the better part of three to four weeks. All clothing has to be bagged up, and it must stay that way for at least two weeks. So you are smart - you pick out two weeks’ worth of clothing and put it in an air-tight container.
When I say that ALL clothing is bagged — I mean EVERYTHING. EVERY sock, scarf, shirt and pair of jeans. All shoes, too.

Furniture has to be taken apart - - drawers removed, shelves disassembled. All curtains must be taken down and bagged up, too. And all pictures, mirrors and artwork on the walls must be removed.

Then, everything must be moved to the center of the room. They must have at least two feet of clearance between the wall and your belongings.

And, then you wait — - and they treat. And treat. And follow up. (And, in my case, they managed to ruin my beautiful sleigh bed….the treatment they sprayed on it stained it…rivulets of it down the sides. I was mad.)

….and yes - - - I got to do all of this TWICE.

And, then in December, I got new downstairs neighbors. A couple in their 50s. Good, huh? I thought “This will be nice.”
Until they moved in - - and my home turned into an ashtray. My downstairs neighbors are inconsidreate, chain-smoking jerks. My condo shares a common ventilation system with theirs…..and they realize that and don’t care. So, I am treated to a whiff of eau de Marlboro all day, every day.

So, I’m moving. Same complex….but a townhome. A two-story, two-bedroom, two and one-half bathroom unit about 100 yards from where I live currently. I will have a fenced-in patio (and a doggie door) and will be far away from the idiotic smokers.

But that means my beautiful condo has to be returned to its original state. The beautiful paint scheme…gone. My lovely Va-Va-Voom Red dining room walls? Covered in primer. My lovely Tudor Brown and Worthington Blue bedroom walls? Glaring white again. Then I am going to put the old, ugly light fixtures back up and take my pretty door and drawer pulls off (and replace them with the fake brass crap that came with this joint.)

I haven’t decided whether or not I am going to put anywhere NEAR the same amount of work into the new place. The ‘remodel’ here took the better part of a month — working almost every evening and every weekend. Right now, though…I am just ready to get into the new place.

And, if there is even one little bedbug left in the walls here….I hope they start making meals out of those rude downstairs neighbors.

April 10th? Are you kidding?
I haven’t posted since April 10th.

Oh well, trust me, I have had my reasons.

Including:
- a lovely nine-day trip to Hawaii
- lots of work
- lots more work without my assistant, who was out of the office for half of June, all of July and a large portion of August
- a one-year anniversary with Doc
- a health scare for my favorite shaggy doxie
- lots of work
- hey, I’m gonna be an aunt to TWINS!
- my baby niece, Dakota, turned one
- we bought her a pedal car (yeah, like the little cars you actually have to pedal in order to propel them)
- we blinged that car out - little rhinestone flowers and scrollwork, as well as her name on the back
- I ended up in the ER the night of her 1st birthday party
- I fell
- it hurt
- my mom was trying to score pain pills from the ER doc on my behalf
- no go
- it hurt for a long time after
- Doc’s parents came to visit
- they brought their 5-month old doxie, Coojoo
- it was a madhouse at my place
- three doxies might just be too many
- especially when two of them sincerely believe they are alpha dogs
- poor Brutus is a wuss

….and, I could keep rambling, but I won’t.

However, we are going back to Hawaii on October 28th! It is my one-year anniversary present to Doc…for putting up with me for a whole twelve months.

…and, we are taking my mother.

This should be fun…er…interesting.

I’m remodeling my condo. I’m spending an unearthly amount of time with Doc. I am working late hours. I am recovering from a horrific allergic reaction to some type of mite (dust, sarcoptic, scabies..who the hell knows?) I am no longer eating everything in site (stupid steroid meds for the allergic reaction).

I am trekking up to Plano and back every day (see above - allergic reaction to some type of mite) while we starve the little suckers at my place. I am bombing my place with dangerous chemicals this week, too.

I am moving this blog to a new host (finally, you know….six months after I paid for a new hosting package, I am finally going to move).

The dogs are fine. Just peachy. The boy is fine…just wonderful.
And, I am tired. I made it out to lunch today at 3:30pm. I am hoping to leave work by 7:00pm. **sigh**
I have tons more work to do on my condo…and, once it is done, I will post photos of the carnage! (You know…after we kill off the legion of mites.)

“You KNOW you have spent FAR too much money on dental work this year when you get a holiday thank you note and a gift card to the Studio Movie Grill….from your DENTIST.”

Thanks, Dr. Cooper. Hope you enjoy your summer house in the Hamptons. Whaddya say we aim for billing me enough to that you can put a nice down payment on a small, yet exquisite island of your very own?

I kid. I do adore my dentist…and he has done a wonderful job. I had tons of dental work done. While I had excellent dental insurance (and no plan year max on benefits), I still managed to fork over the monetary equivalent of about 1,200 gallons of gas. Not at current prices…….at it’s 2008 peak. And not that regular octane crap…we’re talking PREMIUM here, baby.

Google the price, do the math in your head. Makes one cringe, no?

However, I can look forward to one more year of being in the good graces of the dentist. I still have about 1,500 ‘gallons’ of dental work left to do (at the current going rate of Premium Unleaded.)

So, maybe I’ll get another gift card next year, too!

On top of the boy, the dogs, some work stuff, new shoes I bought for mom and a study guide for the PHR/SPHR for my dear friend…

I will be transporting a selection of lovely formal gowns.

You read that correctly. FORMAL GOWNS.

The women in my family have a strange sense of humor and a penchant for the absurd. And, it has been decreed throughout the land that the women of my family will attend the hamburger dinner birthday party in long, sparkly gowns.

I have an entire closet of stunning evening attire - items that only make an appearance at the DCC Margarita Ball…if ever.

I think the lime green will be making an appearance. It’s still my favorite.

(Image from 2007 DCC Margarita Ball. From left to right: My sis, Joni; me; Rebecca; Jeff)

I will also transport a short black sequined shift, a fully beaded aqua halter gown, a lavender beaded dress with a stair-step neckline and a deep green beaded gown with a plunging back.

Pics will follow..especially if this turns out even more ridiculous than I anticipate.

I walked back into the living room…to find my shoes had been ‘christened’ by a four-legged heathen.

Obviously, Brutus doesn’t have an affinity for ballerina-type flats. So much for wearing them to work in the morning….they’re soaking in the sink. And I am glaring at a pooch and once again wondering if life would be more rewarding had I chosen goldfish instead of dachshunds.